Sunday, July 3, 2011

Time Persists

WOW! Has it really been that long since I posted? Part of it has been life seeping into every crevice and part of it is pure procrastination. I've been telling myself that I should post. I need to post. How am I expecting to have people even remotely know who I am if I don't write. And, inevitably, I tell myself, I will do it later. I'll do it tomorrow. But, as we all know, tomorrow never comes, we just keep waiting.

Another part is that I just don't see how people would be remotely interested in what I have to say. I'm just a normal person, who works as a waitress at Cracker Barrel and desperately trying to start this little Cottage Industry business. Funds are low for supplies even though the desire is great. I want to create...I want to play with fabric...you know, manipulate it, dye it, rip it, cut it, and oh so many other things. But, I have to admit, that now, at my age, when I get home after 8 hours of carrying trays and dealing with the public...all I want to do is pull the covers over my head and psych myself up for the next day. But, there is something, maybe that proverbial voice that says, "Don't give up!!!!, Your stuff sells at craft shows, museums, coffee shops. Keep on trying. You'll figure this online stuff out." So, I start to create and fight through the fatigue. And, before I know it, I've knitted a bracelet or finished a set of placemats.

My desire to make this work is greater than my desire to quit and pull those covers over my head. I want to do this for me. I want to show the world what I can do. Nothing is better than having someone buy one of your items and telling you that they have never seen anything like this before. It's a glorious feeling! Better than any other high I've ever experienced. Well, maybe with the exception of giving birth to my children! But that's another post.

The feeling I get is one of great pride and one that is humbling as well. My items are all one of a kind and rather unique, but I keep telling myself that I have to keep those creative juices flowing. I have to keep moving forward with my art. A friend of mine once told me that I have to quit looking at my items as crafts...they are, after all, a part of me. They are my inner voice and a little piece of me goes with every piece that I make. That is art, he said. Not crafts. It took me a long time to realize this and now, that is the way that I look at my items. So, when someone smirks because I name every single thing that my hands create, I tell them what my friend said to me.

I will try to post, to write, to create more and more and not let the fact that Time Persists intimidate me.